First things first…
I love my church and I love the Church.
I can see that my church and the Church are passionate about reaching the masses for the Kingdom of God.
In America, the masses are married couples and families.
Therefore, using this logic, Church is for married people and families.
Let me clarify…
I’m a 26 year-old Christian single. I enjoy being single. I’m not single because “the one” hasn’t come along yet. I’m not single because there’s something wrong with me either. I’m single because in this juncture of my life, I choose to be single. I love my freedom and independence. I love that I get to serve in Ministry wherever I want to serve, for however long I want to serve. My time is my time. My money is my money. Being single is freeing and allows me to learn things from God that I have never learned in a romantic relationship.
I love being single, but the Church doesn’t really know what to do with me.
Statistically, I’ll probably end up getting married…someday…but, not today…or anytime soon. I’m in a weird limbo-state where I’m not in College anymore, but I’m not married either. So my church doesn’t really know how to minister to someone like me.
Singles Ministry for people my age doesn’t exist at my church. It doesn’t exist in most churches. Come to think of it, in the greater Phoenix area, there’s only one healthy Singles Ministry (that I know of, so correct me if I’m wrong) that reaches people my age (24-35 years old). I’ve been told that the reason is because my church simply doesn’t have the staff and resourcing to have a solid, intentional Singles Ministry.
So, here I am.
If Church is for married people, but marriages are failing, shouldn’t the Church be about something more?
We’ve already established that statistically, married people and families go to church more than single people do, so it makes sense that the Church would be extremely intentional about ministering to the majority. And, lets face it, marriages and families are crumbling in America and they really need the Church. They need Jesus. They need love.
Lets think about this for a second:
The divorce rate for Christian marriages is equivalent to non-Christian marriages. About 50%. So, if going to church isn’t helping and Church is where married people and families are, what’s not working?
Have we ever thought about catering to a different crowd?
Before anyone enters into marriage, they’re single. Before anyone says, “I do”, they’ve spent some time living as an unmarried individual. Marriage doesn’t change their sin. The wedding vows don’t erase their insecurities, faults, doubts, mistakes, or bad habits. If anything, marriage brings out these factors even more (so I’ve been told). If the individual enters into marriage with all their baggage in tow, why are we shocked when Christian marriage fails?
If the Church isn’t ministering to our Singles in a healthy and effective way, how can they be expected to transition from single-hood to marriage-hood in a healthy and effective way?
You can’t have a Godly marriage if you don’t know how to be a Godly Single first.
The Church needs to step it up!
The Church needs to start taking responsibility for its Singles.
The Church needs to spiritually lead our Singles, teaching them how to be Godly men and women, so that when they get married, they know how to fight to survive against the battle of Christian divorce.
If we start caring for, loving, and guiding our Singles, maybe Christian divorce will be a thing of the past?
Church, I beg you, please show us you care. Please show us what it looks like to have a healthy marriage before we find ourselves in an unhealthy one. Show us what being a Godly Christian Single looks like.
Show us that Church isn’t just for married people, but for us too.